Focusing on trauma and the self in talk therapy is often counter productive. The best medicine for depression is to do something kind for someone else. GTFO of your own head.
And genetics are a huge factor. Ive heard it explained as these dysfunctions are in our genes, then trauma avtivates them. Im sure theres some truth to that, but some people are simply born disordered. Its both.
This reminds me of a post I read from Aellagirl. She had an undoubtedly traumatic and abusive childhood. She ended up believing that her intense need to please others and put others first was the result of that childhood trauma,where she tried to please her parents as much as she could to (presumably) avoid their wrath. However her opinion on this fact about her changed when she read a journal entry her mother had written about her when she was an infant, before any traumatic event happened, where her mother had described her as very attentive to others, caring, and seeking approval for her actions. It turns out her people pleasing was actually her personality and likely had nothing to with any trauma.
It made me consider just how much of our response to events are due to our personality and not due to the event itself. Another person, in Aella's shoes, might have instead rebelled and ran from home, yet another in the same position might have instead withdrawn themselves and sought escapism. Same situation, different responses. While the trauma necessitated a response, the response is entirely dependent on the person itself and it can not be said that the event caused a specific reaction, since that reaction can differ among people. Basically, if someone claims that they are withdrawn or rebellious or some other personality trait because of their trauma, it is likely that that is just who they are regardless of it.
The only time I would say it is clear that a trait is caused by a traumatic event is when a person's personality or actions clearly change after the event. If I have no problem going anywhere, but then I get attacked in public and now I feel anxiety leaving my house, that could be said to be caused by the trauma of the event.
Trauma is definitely overused right now. It is an easy button to press to claim the much sought after victimhood and a way to blame anything going wrong with you or your life on some external event out of your control.
Yessss. Believing in trauma can be a self-fulfilling prophecy
Focusing on trauma and the self in talk therapy is often counter productive. The best medicine for depression is to do something kind for someone else. GTFO of your own head.
And genetics are a huge factor. Ive heard it explained as these dysfunctions are in our genes, then trauma avtivates them. Im sure theres some truth to that, but some people are simply born disordered. Its both.
This reminds me of a post I read from Aellagirl. She had an undoubtedly traumatic and abusive childhood. She ended up believing that her intense need to please others and put others first was the result of that childhood trauma,where she tried to please her parents as much as she could to (presumably) avoid their wrath. However her opinion on this fact about her changed when she read a journal entry her mother had written about her when she was an infant, before any traumatic event happened, where her mother had described her as very attentive to others, caring, and seeking approval for her actions. It turns out her people pleasing was actually her personality and likely had nothing to with any trauma.
It made me consider just how much of our response to events are due to our personality and not due to the event itself. Another person, in Aella's shoes, might have instead rebelled and ran from home, yet another in the same position might have instead withdrawn themselves and sought escapism. Same situation, different responses. While the trauma necessitated a response, the response is entirely dependent on the person itself and it can not be said that the event caused a specific reaction, since that reaction can differ among people. Basically, if someone claims that they are withdrawn or rebellious or some other personality trait because of their trauma, it is likely that that is just who they are regardless of it.
The only time I would say it is clear that a trait is caused by a traumatic event is when a person's personality or actions clearly change after the event. If I have no problem going anywhere, but then I get attacked in public and now I feel anxiety leaving my house, that could be said to be caused by the trauma of the event.
Trauma is definitely overused right now. It is an easy button to press to claim the much sought after victimhood and a way to blame anything going wrong with you or your life on some external event out of your control.
Certainly, people now
Now days people get trauma from every little thing.
You dad say you can't get a tattoo at age 12? TRAUMA!!
The store did not have the cookies you like? TRAUMA!!
You read a different political opinion on the internet? TRAUMA!!
And the answer to the trauma? is always being a worst human being.
Just give into your vice and that will make the trauma "feel better".
"You don't have trauma, your just a little bitch."
Me, to a friend, who's dad did not buy him the car he wanted over 20 years ago.