CNN's Misleading Compassion - The "advantages" of being raised without a father
Sugar-coating reality doesn't solve peoples' problems
CNN recently tweeted “Advantages of being raised by a single mother outweigh expectations and outlast childhood embarrassment,” with a link to an article of theirs.
Single mothers certainly deserve all kinds of admiration, but this word advantages stood out to me as the negative effects of being raised without a father (or stepfather or grandfather) are widely known. So, why is CNN bending the truth?
The Statistics
With a citation either from the U.S. Census Bureau, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services or one of many published research articles, Fathers.com lists out the consequences of Fatherlessness:
・Children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor.
・Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse
・Children of single-parent homes are more than twice as likely to commit suicide
・71% of high school dropouts are fatherless; fatherless children have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on tests of reading, mathematics, and thinking skills
・A 1% increase in the proportion of single-parent families in a neighborhood is associated with a 3% increase in an adolescent’s level of violence
・Being raised by a single mother raises the risk of teen pregnancy, marrying with less than a high school degree, and forming a marriage where both partners have less than a high school degree.
The use of the word advantages earned CNN heavy criticism. The article is written by David G. Allen who grew up in a single-parent household. He does acknowledge that it’s established that growing up in a single parent household is associated with worse socioeconomic status, but he also remarks that:
A 2017 study, however, looked at the long-term effects of single parenthood on kids and found that it had nearly no impact on their general life satisfaction.
This is just flat out wrong. Here is a quote from that 2017 study:
Individuals who grew up with a single mother for their entire childhood and to a lesser degree also individuals who experienced parental separation showed a small but persistent decrease in life satisfaction into old age controlling childhood socio-economic status.
The data in Fig 1 of the study clearly shows that life satisfaction is consistently lower for those who don’t grow up with both parents.
Successful thanks to or in spite of?
David G. Allen writes of his childhood that:
“Nothing about the financial and logistical stress of our years together kept her from raising a responsible, decent, curious, creative and accomplished son with very high life satisfaction.”
Indeed. Obviously just because someone is raised by a single-mother doesn’t mean they can’t grow up to be a wildly successful respectable citizen with a satisfying and fulfilling childhood. Also there can be situations where it may be best for everyone if the parents get divorced and there can be instances where it is simply not possible or practical for a parent to have a spouse. No child is in any way “doomed” just because they only have one parent. But, based on the statistics, is it easier for a child to be a responsible, decent, curious, creative and accomplished adult if they are raised by one or by two parents?
Being raised by a single parent required an Emersonian amount of self-reliance. I got myself to school in the morning, figured out how to apply to college, paid my way through that education and embarked on a career with no shortcuts or introductions. Our poverty made me class-conscious even as I earned my way into the middle class myself. My role model for what women are and should be was smart, strong, independent and deserving of all respect.
Even my childhood embarrassment was character-building, giving me a deeper sense of self-worth that is dependent neither on material things nor the opinion of those I don’t admire.
Indeed, people develop strengths based on the challenges they’ve faced. This is no surprise. Bullied as a child, Georges St-Pierre went on to become a professional martial artist and some regard him as the best MMA fighter of all time. Is being bullied to be considered an “advantage?” If you write these points as the opinions of someone who is not in the shoes of David G. Allen, it sounds sadistic:
・”Drastically limiting the amount of parental attention a child can receive benefits them by making them more self-reliant.”
・”People living in poverty are blessed with the gift of class-consciousness.”
・”Children should experience shame and embarrassment in front of their peers to develop a deeper sense of self-worth.”
Compassionate Double Speak
Something about the CNN article reminds me of George Carlin’s bit on soft language.
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